Thoughts After CWC

This morning back in my own space, Lucy and Satsi not home yet from their pet resort, fans keeping the still-coolish night air circulating (windows closed against the rising heat outside), I sit with my journal and mug of iced coffee to reflect on, and not let go of, what it is that makes CWC at Goddard so special. As I was packing up to leave yesterday, the dorm was silent and breezy, and the thought occurred to me that, if financial circumstances require that I choose between going home for Mardi Gras and CWC next year, it might be better for me holistically to go back to Goddard.

This surprised me because I feel so alive in the Quarter on Carnival day--it satisfies my need to play in the visual paradise of creativity, to run into old friends, feel my homeland beneath my feet--know that I belong. Yet, the intensity, the expectations for peak moments (think of the joy at the crescendoes of laughter when we play If-Then) sometimes unmet make it risky; so much rides on that one day.

CWC unfolds gently. I emerge from my shell and am more who I really am: smart, funny, kind-hearted, involved, present, eager to learn. I feel valued (key word) among you because you reflect these things back to me, something often lacking in life outside Goddard. Or, at least, it's harder for me to detect and believe. The slings and arrows of non-safety are such that I'm guarded, and when too plentiful cause me to go into a fog. I slog as if through jello, weighted down with a kind of despair. I am very lonely.

So, for me, the seed is being valued. CWC in the context of Goddard (I doubt it would be the same off-site) provides the fertile soil, the nutrients and benevolent light that allows germination, encourages growth of a tiny bit of life long packed inside a hard ball of armor. And for that--for you--I am profoundly grateful.

Perhaps these musings are my debriefing plenary address--what's the closing parenthesis of plenary?--something I feel the urge to impart. I'm sure you have your own -- and if you choose to share them, you'll find a willing audience in me.

Blessings, blessings and hugggggggggggs that go on forever,

Darlene Olivo

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